She dropped out, hunted for a job, and came out with bursary

When she came through the door, she looked like somebody who had given up on something and was searching for hope. We sat down in the office to talk.

She was in her second year of university when she dropped out. She did not have the money to continue. So how can I help you? I asked her. She looked at the ceiling. Tension and desperation in her eyes let off the tears which gleamed against the light.

‘Uhm, I’m not sure. I’m here because I want to finish my studies,’ she said as she shifted slightly in the chair. ‘But my grandparents don’t have money so… I guess I have to get a job, but I don’t have qualifications, so please help me because I don’t know what else to do.’ she was fighting the tears. Her voice trembled as she hastily wrapped up. It shook something in me.

I asked her about her life and family situation. She had had a stint as news reader for a community radio station. She spoke with clarity and her emails to me indicated that she had great potential. ‘I enjoy the research part of Engineering so I want to follow that stream,’ she said. I was spell-bound to find a way to help her.

She came back the following week. I was pleasantly surprised by how meticulous she had done her homework. She had compiled the research about companies which we thought she could approach to offer her skills. She sent me evidence of her proposals to companies including the company responses to her.

For about three meetings, I shared some life lessons with her. Those lessons have shaped key moments in my own life, and in the lives of those who’ve taught me one or two things. They are long stories which I can only summarise in this way…

1.     When you aspire for something, be it a job, an important relationship, healing or even a car which you “need,” claim it. Call it forth. Say, ‘I will work at ABC soon;’ ‘I will have a meeting with so-and-so one day;’ ‘There goes my car,’ and proceed to do what is necessary to achieve it. This is the prayer that I know.

2.     When you are struggling to get ahead (and the truth is that you are actually getting ahead even during strife), and the doors don’t seem to be opening, think differently. Surrender – not “give up” - to the desperation… Yes. And soon your God-mind may abandon your selfish thoughts and then it will ask: How can I help somebody? Life is not just about you; it is about everyone. Sometimes the stumbling block in life is that I have not given myself to others; I have just been taking, taking, and trying to take more. Life says we are called to re-create ourselves even during bad times; to conquer and surprise ourselves. This is the game of aspiring to be in God. Offer YOURSELF, the universe will return the love.

Pulane [not her real name] and I shared these and many other lessons, suffice it to say that when she sent me an email on 27 January, she had this to say:

‘I just had an "Aha" moment when I recall what you used to say "helping people is like doing a prayer for yourself." I couldn't continue with a mission [visiting companies with proposals] this year. We had nothing at home this month [she’s depending on pensioners] and then that's when I came to a point where I got so bored and decided to keep myself busy by helping out at the church. One day (about a week ago) the Reverend became interested in knowing what am currently doing with my life, I explained to him and he said the church can give me bursary. My application has been approved and I am submitting my results [to church] this week. I’ll be going for an interview on Sunday and hopefully I’ll be able to register soon.’

This morning of 27 February 2014 I received a long email from her. I will only quote the following extract:

‘Do you remember the last e-mail I sent to you(last month)about me going to the interview for the church bursary? It went well. But it was not easy to register because I was owing the institution R5000.00 and the bursary was only willing to pay for my 2014 fees. So I got sooo emotionally drained, I talked and talked to them, like you taught me :)… until NSFAS pledged to pay the outstanding, by God’s grace. I only registered on Valentine’s day, and started attending last week (doing a lot of catching up) and this is my second week.’